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No Words to Explain

Posted by aelie_baby on 2006.03.02 at 15:02
Title: No Words to Explain
Fandom: Doctor Who (OC: Zeta)
Characters: Zeta
Prompt: 034. I`m in love with my lust,
burning angel wings to dust
Word Count: 523
Rating: R - dark!smut and language
Summary: She could never understand.
A/N: Written for the 50lyricsfanfic Challenge.

034. I`m in love with my lust,
burning angel wings to dust

Even if she could have found the words, she could never explain why she did what she did. Every few nights, there would be a new bar, a new lover, and another night with companionship. Well, only part of a night – the ‘important’ part. She never really understood why it was that she did this. It had never been important before. Sure, she had been no inexperienced virgin, but it had never been such an empty thing. It had meant something – it was an expression of emotion that she would rarely allow herself to indulge in. As a guardian of Time, she really had had no choice in the matter. Interference was forbidden and to sleep with someone that lived in the Time streams would be an irrevocable interference.

Yet here she was, fucking every man that came along with a pretty smile. They would flirt with her, seduce her, buy her drinks, thinking to get her drunk (an amusing thought, really – she only drank the alcohol to slow her hearts so that her non-human-ness didn’t frighten the little monkeys.). Then they’d find somewhere to go (a hotel room, his flat, the back alley-way), and as the human was thrusting away with all of his might, merrily searching for his own pleasure, she would be afforded a chance to snub her nose at everything she had been taught as a Time Tot – Emotion will blind your mind and reason, you must not allow Lesser species to affect your mind, . Anger would fill her as much as her lover would, thoughts of how everyone had left her alone on this Time-forsaken backwater planet stabbing her with every shove of the animal above her. She’d start to lash out as rage filled her, and her partners loved it. ‘Oh, that’s so hot, baby,’ they’d say, thinking foolishly that they were the cause of her ‘eager participation’. She let them believe what they wanted. She couldn’t care less. They were just a means to an end, a way to vent the terrible inferno in her hearts. They would move quicker inside of her when they came close, shoving so hard it hurt her. But if it hurt, you were alive. Alive and angry. Then, suddenly, her lover would come, sometimes silently, sometimes with a shout; his warmth would fill her and for just a brief moment, she’d be filled with all of the fury of being left alone. The silence in her mind would be filled with curses and hatred and anger, which faded as the warmth did. He’d fall against her, panting as his meagre single heart attempted to stay afloat in the rush of hormones, then pull away, leaving her as empty physically as she was inside (that maw would never stop pulsing…they were all gone). Both of them would smile at each other (hollow smiles that meant nothing other than, ‘that was a really good fuck.’), get dressed and go on their way- he to bed to sleep and recharge for tomorrow, she to another bar and another stupid ape.

And really, she could never understand why she did what she did.


yourfavorite__ at 2006-03-04 05:05 (UTC) (Link)
Ahebedah whaaat???

This is what I get for leaving the computer. It's very hot, darling- I'm totally adding it to my memories. more z please?
kittenmommy at 2006-03-09 01:55 (UTC) (Link)
Wow! What a dark little ficlet - sooooo delicious! I'm loving your Zeta - what a great character!

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